Saying Goodbye Sunny Leone
Saying Goodbye Sunny Leone: When I found out I had terminal cancer I cried for about a week. Once the tears dried I realized I needed to do something with the time I had left.
I cried for about a week. Once the tears dried I realized I needed to do something with the time I had left.
The doctor said I had only about six months to live. I knew I didn’t want to die in my apartment or in some hospital bed.
I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing my family and friends hovering over my sick body as I lay helpless in bed, forced to gaze into their sad faces as we said our goodbyes.
I decided to leave without telling anyone. It was hard but I knew that if people found out I was leaving they would just be upset and try to talk me out of it.
They wouldn’t understand that dying was something I had to do on my own terms. I sold everything I owned,
emptied out my savings accounts, and took a train out of the city with only a backpack. I traveled for days,
just staring out of the window, taking in the forgotten beauty of the world beyond the city.
At one point the train stopped at a station in what appeared to be a tiny village.
There was a sign on the platform that said its population was only a hundred.
It was a farm village – a settlement that grew vegetables to be sold in the big cities close by.
There were no banks, no cinemas, not even a restaurant. It was perfect – exactly the type of place I wanted to live out my last days.
I had dreamed of building a beautiful garden where my body could be laid to rest. I knew this was where I would find it.
I started making my way through the village. Most people I met were curious – they weren’t used to seeing strangers – but friendly. I met a woman who said her
father had recently passed away and that he had left behind a farm a mile up the hill.
The place was neglected and needed doing up and she offered to let me stay there for a reasonable price.
It took me a few weeks to get the property in order. The place was full of dust, spiderwebs, and clutter.
Once I had taken care of the mess I began working on the garden. It was tiring work but it occupied my mind and kept me busy.
My fingernails were always packed with dirt and my hands sore from the constant digging.
I prayed that I could find the strength to finish the garden in time. One day as I worked I saw a man walk up to the property.
He was handsome and a little rugged, probably in his twenties. He said his name was Jay and that he was looking for work.
I told him I appreciated the offer but I wasn’t in a position to hire anyone. Jay said he had nowhere to go and he was desperate.
Something in his pleading voice touched me, reminding me of how I had felt when I first learned my news.
I didn't usually trust strangers but my instincts told me Jay was different.
The best I could do, I told him, was to offer him room and board in exchange for his help in the garden.
I warned him that this wasn’t just a little vegetable garden but a very large project. He thanked me eagerly and was touchingly grateful.
As he walked in, I smelt alcohol on him, seeping out from his pores.
I told him this was a non-drinking house and that alcohol was not permitted. Embarrassed, Jay just nodded
his head and said he understood. He also told me this was just the break he was looking for and was very thankful for it.
The next day we walked down to the garden area. I showed him the plans. The garden was going to be a large square, surrounded by tall walls of flowery vines and bushes.
Inside the walls would be a garden full of flowers, broken up by paths of stone running towards the center.
Here, there would be a large, empty, square patch of grass surrounded by small flowers.
Jay and I constantly bickered about how to elaborate the designs for the garden were. He couldn’t understand why it had to be so complicated.
Certain details were just a waste of time and money in his eyes.
I was sure that if I told him the truth he would’ve gone easy on me but to be honest I enjoyed the bickering.
I loved getting under his skin and I could tell that he loved getting undermine.
It was like we were playing a game of who could annoy the other more. As the weeks went by, we created a
great partnership, working long hours in the garden, side by side. Jay kept his promise, not touching a drop of drink, which must have been very hard.
I started to feel guilty about not telling him that I was going to die. He was no longer just someone who worked for me.
He had become a companion, someone I really trusted. There were days when I was on the verge of telling him but I just couldn’t find the courage.
I couldn’t stand the idea of him looking at me with pity and sadness the way my friends and
family back home had done. The time I spent with Jay was surreal. He had come into my life at just the time I needed a companion.
We spent a lot of time together just laughing and telling stories. He loved telling me obscene jokes because they always made me blush.
Jay found it amusing to see me embarrassed. When I was with him, I forgot that I was dying.
One night after dinner we lay down on the porch and stared up at the stars. We started talking about the dreams we
had had as teenagers and how silly they seemed now. At one point, Jay turned his head towards me and said how great it would be for us to spend the rest of our lives together on the farm.
He could see us chasing around a few children, maybe a couple of dogs. I took a gulp of wine and tried to fight back tears.
Jay could see I was upset. He asked what was wrong but I couldn’t tell him. I quickly stood up and ran into the house.
He followed me to my bedroom, pleading with me to tell him what he had
said to make me run away. I pushed him back and yelled for him to leave. He stood in front of me looking confused and concerned; he had never seen me that upset before.
So many emotions were running through me – fear, anger, pain, sadness. I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown.
Jay grabbed my wrists and pulled me towards him, asking me again to tell him what the matter was.
I didn’t have the strength to hide it from him anymore – I shouted out that I was dying.
We stood there staring at one another, tears pouring down our faces. It was as if time stood still in that moment.
I told him about my past, the doctor’s verdict, why I ran away. As much as I would have loved to spend the rest of my life with Jay on the farm with children and dogs, it could never happen.
Jay came closer and, cupping my cheeks in his palms, said that no matter how many days I had left on this earth, he would cherish every one of them. He promised that he would never leave me
and be right by my side when the time came. Overcome with emotion, we grabbed each other and began kissing passionately.
I had wanted to feel his lips on mine for weeks now but had never dared to think it would happen.
He lay me down on the bed and asked if he could make love to me. I kissed his lips and said yes.
He took off my shirt and began caressing my body with his fingers. It had been so long since I had felt the warm touch of
a man. I pulled his shirt over his head and began to explore his firm body with my hands. His lips kissed every inch of my skin.
A tingling sensation spread throughout my entire body as his soft fingers found my most pleasurable parts.
As he entered me, it felt like two lost souls had finally found each other.
A sense of euphoria overtook us and we lay there, gently making love with the midnight breeze for company.
We made love for hours that night but it still wasn’t enough. I loved the feeling
of his skin on mine – I wanted it to last forever. We fell asleep holding hands, my head resting on his chest and him stroking my hair.
The next morning, Jay woke me up with breakfast in bed. We lay there for hours, talking about life and my previous relationships.
There was only one thing I was still keeping from him. I told him that it wasn’t just a garden we were building.
There was a reason the design was so meticulous, a reason it had to be perfect. This garden was going to be my
final resting place. I made Jay promise that when the time came for me to pass, he would take me to the garden and lay me down so I could go in peace, surrounded by nature.
He agreed and said he would be right there with me the entire time. We spent the next few months drunk in love, enjoying every moment we had left with each other.
Six months passed and the days had become more challenging. My body was deteriorating quickly. When I looked
into the mirror, I could barely recognize the frail person staring back at me. If it wasn’t for Jay, I wouldn’t have survived this long.
I was now extremely weak. Jay was forced to work alone in the garden, although many of the villagers had begun to show an interest in the project and were pitching in with help.
I rested on the porch most days, watching as Jay and his band completed my dream. I barely had the strength to keep writing.
Sometimes I was angry at fate. But then I thought that it was fate that had brought Jay to my door and given me the happiest moments of my life.
Before Maya passed, she gave me this letter and asked me to finish her story.
was important for her that her family and friends back home knew why she had left so abruptly and that she hadn’t died all alone.
I had never done anything for anyone, valuing people only for what they could do for me.
At twenty-six, this left me a lonely drunk. Maya was the only person that made me feel like I was worthy of being loved.
I never told her but the reason I had gone to the farm that day wasn’t to find work. It was to kill myself.
With a pocket full of pills, I was searching for a secluded place where no one would find me.
It was sheer coincidence that I wandered into Maya’s farm. Maya, with her large, brown eyes, had an extraordinary effect on me from the moment I first laid eyes on her.
Something about her made me change my mind and decide not to end things. It was the same instinct that made me give up drink.
But it was only much later that I would be able to call it love. As our relationship deepened, things got harder for Maya.
She had a very small appetite, and when she did eat, keeping things down was difficult. Her body began to decline rapidly.
Simple things like talking and getting out of bed became extremely difficult. One morning Maya told me that it was time and she was ready.
I told her to rest while I ran to the village to get a few things. I cried the entire way there and back, though I was careful to hide my tears from her.
I started getting her ready. I helped her into a beautiful white dress that someone from the village had made for her.
In her hair I placed a halo I had made out of various flowers from the garden. She stood in front of the mirror and smiled.
Squeezing my hand, she whispered a thank you. I took Maya outside and we walked arm in arm down to the garden.
The air was filled with the fragrance of fresh flowers. The sun was shining brighter than it ever had before.
Butterflies danced all around us while bird calls echoed throughout the farm. It was as if Mother Nature was opening her arms to welcome Maya home.
As we made the journey we reminisced about the many happy memories we had shared. We had had so much fun working those long hours.
Some days we spent more time laughing and playing than working but there hadn’t been a single day that Maya didn’t leave a piece of her heart and soul in that garden.
I had placed two sheer white panels at the entrance. The fabric floated prettily in the breeze and seeing them brought a smile to Maya’s pain-weathered face.
As we made our way inside I revealed one last surprise for my beloved. The entire village was waiting for her.
Everyone was dressed in white with flowers in their hair and around their necks. Maya was speechless at the love she was being shown by everyone.
This was the happiest I had ever seen her. Everywhere she looked there were familiar faces smiling at her and blowing kisses, each holding a single flower they had picked.
At the center of the garden, I had placed a blanket that some women from the village had sewn.
I helped Maya on to it and sat down next to her. She was weak and exhausted from the walk.
Using the last of her energy she looked around and lifted her frail arms, gesturing for everyone to sit down with her.
It was like hugged and said how much they loved each other. Everyone’s problems and worries seemed to disappear at that moment.
Maya always used to tell me that it was fate that had brought me to the farm so I could save her.
It wasn’t until she passed away that I realized fate had brought me to the farm, but it was so she could save me…
You can search for Google and You can share this post-Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram.
Read More: Call centre – the fascinating job of being a call centre representative
No comments:
Post a Comment